Relationship demands cut into our free time & add to our stress.

  • As we invest more time into raising our children, sometimes our other relationships get neglected, especially when our children are young & need lots of attention. Mothers of young children frequently feel torn between meeting the needs of their infants & toddlers & having enough energy for conversation & commiseration with your partner or spouse.
  • Busy mothers also find it more difficult to make time for their friends as they juggle all the responsibilities of motherhood. As our children grow & change, we will also change & grow in new directions. Expect this change in you to put pressure on your longstanding friendships & other significant relationships. You will have to make extra effort to maintain those relationships or decide to let them go during this phase of your life.
  • Above all else, try to spend time with your partner. Their role is so important as you proceed through the various stages of parenting together. Even though it may be easy to do, try not to put your relationship on the back burner. Especially try not to relegate sex & intimacy to an afterthought. Sex is extremely important to our healthy working, stressed (or not) husband or partner.
  • We must all make time for our significant other. One simple daily conversation with your partner will allow you to tell them how you feel. This will give you the emotional boost you need on those days you are feeling exhausted & overwhelmed. Connecting with your partner every day can make a big difference in your outlook. Hugs, kisses, & conversation mean a lot. (Having sex means even more.)
  • Simply looking forward to the evening when you can talk & decompress with your partner at the end of the day can get you through some challenging parenting times.
  • Also, each of us has to learn how to put our partners to work. You & your partner are a team. Your spouse can help you, but not if you think they can read your mind. Our partners generally want to help, but we can make them feel badly if they’re not feeding the kids the way we do or putting them in right pajamas the way we would. Let go of your expectations for perfection if they are trying to help.
  • Try to step back & let them do their thing. It really doesn’t matter if the kids eat hotdogs & fruit cocktail once in a while. It certainly doesn’t matter what pajamas or school clothes they wear if dad is trying to help dress them.
  • Some couples become deadlocked when it comes to helping. If you have your own way of running things, because you are home all day with the kids, then your partner may choose to opt out of helping you. Are you making them feel like they might interfere with your plans? If so, try not to do this. Invite them to help out & be specific with your requests.
  • We all must learn how to delegate our needs to accomplish childcare & home maintenance. Act like the chief that you are.

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